1 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,716 - * Tearing out, tearing out pieces * 2 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:16,516 - * To replace the broken pieces of you * 3 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:41,624 [dance music] - Oh, my God! 4 00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:44,878 Why are you shaking your nalgas for the whole world to see? 5 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,547 - I'm connecting with other women who have daddy issues. 6 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,091 - Oh, I'm sure you'll connect with some daddies on there too. 7 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,554 - Why would I take social media advice from you? 8 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:58,266 You thought Instagram was a weed delivery service. 9 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,101 - Sometimes it is. 10 00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:02,395 I like the dancing, though. 11 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:03,396 [War's "Low Rider"] 12 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:05,899 - * The low rider * 13 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,734 * Is a little higher * 14 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:14,532 * * 15 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:23,917 [upbeat saxophone music] 16 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:26,086 * * 17 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:30,215 - What kind of measurement is "as long as your arm"? 18 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,508 - You want it to be exact, right? 19 00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:34,552 My arm is always the same. 20 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,221 - What if someone else uses your measurements 21 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,932 and they use their arm? 22 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:40,266 - That's a good note. 23 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:44,270 You know, Mayan, this kitchen would get done a lot faster 24 00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:45,855 if I could stay overnight. 25 00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:48,775 This two-hour drive back and forth is making me tired. 26 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,528 - It would get done faster if I hired a contractor 27 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:52,779 who didn't always have a beer 28 00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,865 at the end of his measuring arm. 29 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,534 - Yeah, I mean, forget it. 30 00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,619 You know, has this ever happened to you, Mayan, 31 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,788 when you're driving, and you close your eyes, 32 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,707 and you wake up and you go, "That's not my house. 33 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:06,626 That's a tree!" 34 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,586 - I don't know about you staying here, Dad. 35 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,171 I mean, it's only been, like, six weeks 36 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,673 since we started hanging out again. 37 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,425 - But it's been going good, right? 38 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:17,137 - Yeah, I mean, you come here, you do stuff for me, 39 00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:19,347 we laugh, and you go home. 40 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:22,183 I love that last part. 41 00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:27,188 - Please, Mayan, look, I just want to do a good job. 42 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,482 - Okay, I still have to ask Quinten. 43 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:32,110 But this is my house, my rules. 44 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,445 And we gotta set some boundaries 45 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:34,487 so you don't trigger me. 46 00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,197 - "Trigger"? Wait a minute. 47 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,450 You got a gun, Mayan? 48 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,869 I'm so proud of you! 49 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,245 - Emotionally trigger. 50 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,872 I hate guns. 51 00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:45,915 You have a gun? 52 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:47,250 - Not on me. 53 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:54,716 Okay, so how do I avoid these Los Triggers del Norte? 54 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,553 - Well, one of my triggers is when you lie to me. 55 00:02:58,595 --> 00:02:59,763 - I never lie to you. 56 00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:00,847 - That's a lie. 57 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,307 - That is a lie. 58 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,643 - Another trigger is when you yell at me. 59 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,854 - I never yell at you. - That's another lie. 60 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,690 - Okay, this is starting to feel like a series of traps. 61 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,693 Yelling is the Lopez way. 62 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,403 It's so people take you seriously. 63 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,280 My nana used to say, "There's the right way, 64 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,033 and then there's the Lopez way." 65 00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:22,452 She would take off her chancla and throw it at you 66 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,580 and hit you, so you never forgot. 67 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:28,249 And you know what? I never forgot. Right here. 68 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,754 - Yeah, well, my therapist says that instead of yelling, 69 00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:35,465 I should resolve conflicts through empathetic listening 70 00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,509 and mutual understanding. 71 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,469 - I--I wasn't listening. 72 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,391 - Grandpa! - Hey, what's up, Gordo? 73 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:46,601 - My name is Chance, not Gordo. 74 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,855 And I'm not fat. I got gains. 75 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,775 Just a few cupcakes away from riding shotgun. 76 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,445 - I'm still not calling you Chance, 77 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,614 'cause it looks like there's a chance 78 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,075 that's not your father. 79 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,618 - [laughs nervously] 80 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,914 Why would you say something like that? 81 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:10,375 - Because the kid looks very Mexican, 82 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,751 and you look like somebody 83 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,712 that wouldn't get a rose on "The Bachelorette." 84 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,633 - [clears throat] Look, George, 85 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,427 even though I'm not the toxic alpha male 86 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:21,970 you wanted for Mayan's life partner, 87 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,888 I am confident in who I am. 88 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,932 So you can't hurt me. 89 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,976 - Yeah, you broke eye contact at the end there, bro. 90 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,480 - Damn it. 91 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,774 - Grandpa, can you make me a green juice? 92 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,234 - You want some greens? Come on. 93 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,569 You pick your nose and eat it 94 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:38,945 like a real kid, huh? 95 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,405 Nature's candy. Come on. 96 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,577 - So my dad asked if he could stay here. 97 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:48,038 - What, for, like, dinner? 98 00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,581 - Just till he finishes the kitchen. 99 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:50,957 Just remember to stay 100 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:53,335 at least three George Lopez arms away from him. 101 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,003 - All right. 102 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:59,674 * * 103 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:02,052 - I'm here. - Oh, no one cares. 104 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:05,347 Don't look, mijo. You'll turn into stone. 105 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:07,432 - Hi, Mama. - Mm, hi. 106 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,767 I just came to tell my family 107 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,810 that I sold five policies this morning. 108 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,812 Rosie, la reina of home insurance, 109 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,105 is killing it. 110 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,982 I'm going to be bigger than the Progressive lady 111 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,067 and the Aflac duck. 112 00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,404 - You already got the voice. 113 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:25,784 "I'm Rosie." [quacking] 114 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,911 You saw that Mayan and I did a TikTok, 115 00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,372 and you wanted to come over here and make things awkward. 116 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,040 - If I wanted to make things awkward, 117 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,459 I'd show Mayan all your drunken late-night texts 118 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,045 asking, "You up?" 119 00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,047 - I was up. 120 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:44,052 * * 121 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,721 - This is Mayan Lopez, vet tech with a mic. 122 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,598 Does climate change concern you? 123 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,728 - Are you a fan of Doja Cat? 124 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,775 - What are your views on Bitcoin? 125 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,073 - This guy is sitting in his pictures, 126 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,449 which means he's short. 127 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,368 Left. 128 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,537 This guy is sitting in his car, 129 00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:13,039 which means he's short and married. 130 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:16,376 I see you, sir. Left. 131 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:19,546 - Brookie, if you never swipe right, what's the point? 132 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:21,297 - I swipe right on the rich guys. 133 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,425 And I refer them to my OnlyFans. 134 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,511 What? It's just my feet. 135 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,430 I'm not a freak. 136 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,851 - Ugh, Duchess the chihuahua is coming in today. 137 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,561 You know, I hate when rich people 138 00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:36,104 expect everything to be free. 139 00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:38,565 That woman won't pay for her dog's butt exam 140 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:41,151 because she's like, "It's so small, 141 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,570 Like, how can you even charge for that?" 142 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:49,576 - Ooh, the princess is here. 143 00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,536 - Hello, Duchess. 144 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:54,080 - No, Duchess does not touch the floor. 145 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,790 Dogs have been on that. 146 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,959 - I'm sorry. Does Duchess identify as human? 147 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,628 Because she clearly presents as a dog. 148 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,925 Anyway...while you're here, 149 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,094 there's a number of outstanding services on your bill-- 150 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,554 - Oh, could you please send me an email? 151 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,097 I'm late for pilates. 152 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:14,059 - Well, we've let you defer the last three visits, so-- 153 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,352 - So that's a yes. 154 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,519 Goodbye, my darling. 155 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,396 Mommy will miss you. 156 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,565 [smooching] 157 00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:31,159 - Orale, muchachos. Thanks for the help, man. 158 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,535 Take a break, huh? 159 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,995 There you go. 160 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:36,247 No domestic beer for you, Oscar. 161 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,958 My best friend deserves only the best imported. 162 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,335 - Thanks, man. 163 00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:41,753 Hey, you know what would be even better, though? 164 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,130 - If we were high. 165 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,924 - How'd you know I was gonna say that? 166 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,342 - 'Cause you said the same thing this morning, 167 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,468 then we got high. 168 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,470 [both laugh] 169 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:51,805 [door slams] - Hey, take it easy. 170 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,515 Some of us are high. 171 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:59,020 - Sorry, there's an entitled white lady at work. 172 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,313 - Just one? 173 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:03,233 - One is all you need to ground a Delta flight. 174 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,404 - She treats us all like crap. 175 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,489 - Sounds like you need to show her the Lopez way. 176 00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:10,824 - Please don't start. 177 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,867 - It's a foolproof method. 178 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,828 It's even how your mom and I fell in love. 179 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:17,831 On our first date, we made the waiter cry. 180 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,082 - That's not something to be proud of. 181 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,750 - Then why did we take a picture? 182 00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:25,171 If you want results, don't hold back, okay? 183 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:26,840 Hell, I do it to Oscar all the time. 184 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:28,842 - You do? - Listen, this isn't about you. 185 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:29,843 Now, why don't you mind your own business 186 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,428 and get me another beer. 187 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:32,887 - Okay. 188 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,599 - Wait, wasn't the fridge supposed to arrive today? 189 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,226 - Oh, yeah, yeah, don't worry about that. 190 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,729 Sounds like work is stressing you out, Mayan. 191 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,147 You know what? 192 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,025 I got something that'll make you feel better. 193 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:49,112 - [screams] 194 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:51,239 Freaking bitches! 195 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,657 [yells] 196 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,535 [breathing heavily] 197 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,370 - Wow. - Oh, man. 198 00:08:57,412 --> 00:09:00,331 I didn't know I had that in me. I guess I got that from you. 199 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,083 - You didn't get that throwing the hammer down thing from me. 200 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:05,378 You got it from your mom. Ta loca. I'm scared of you. 201 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,629 Put that in the truck. 202 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:09,257 * * 203 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,384 - Chance and your dad are all tucked in. 204 00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,678 George was a bit tipsy. 205 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,055 - How could you tell? 206 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:19,225 - Well, after we cheersed, he said, "I love you." 207 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,644 - Baby, pretty sure he was talking about the beer. 208 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,983 Thank you for being okay with all this. 209 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,402 - Well, he fought me about getting his pants off for bed, 210 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:32,072 but I feel like he's really starting to trust me. 211 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:37,118 - It's night--what the-- why are these lights on? 212 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,661 That's crazy. 213 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,413 This one too. 214 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:44,292 What--hey, why are all the lights on in this house? 215 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:50,256 - Why don't you bother to knock? 216 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,425 - Do you guys even know what electricity costs? 217 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,135 - 19.90¢ a kilowatt. 218 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,512 Sorry. 219 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,305 When I get nervous, I say facts. 220 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,392 - We can afford the lights, Dad. 221 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,394 I leave them on in case Chance wakes up 222 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,520 and has to use the bathroom. 223 00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:04,896 - You're a young couple, okay? 224 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,815 You don't know when you're gonna need that money, 225 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,858 so both of you need to do-- you need to train Chance 226 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,152 how to see in the dark. 227 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,573 - I'm sorry. What? 228 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,785 - When I was little, I would read with the light on, 229 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,745 and my grandmother would turn the light off on me 230 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:21,996 and she would say, 231 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,957 "You need to learn how to read in the dark," 232 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,875 so I did, and not only that, 233 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:28,211 I still do it to this very day. 234 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,257 - Really? - "Read in the dark." 235 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,092 He doesn't even read in the light. 236 00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,973 - Don't come running to me when you don't have anything left. 237 00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,725 I still got the first penny I ever made. 238 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,101 I use it as a fuse. 239 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,230 What happened to my pants? 240 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,778 - I swear it was consensual. 241 00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:05,832 - Don't judge me. 242 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,000 - I'm not. 243 00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,835 I'm jealous of you. Hit me. 244 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,672 - Man, these last few days with my dad 245 00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,215 and his frickin' lights. 246 00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,518 [shower running] 247 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:26,561 Ah! 248 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:27,896 Soap in my eye! 249 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:30,231 Oh, burning! 250 00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,319 Oh, Dad, can you turn off the lights? 251 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,988 - No, I like to leave them on when I watch a movie. 252 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,365 It helps me see it better. 253 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,037 - I just want to scream in his face, 254 00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:45,789 but that's pre-therapy Mayan. 255 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,125 I just want my dad in my life 256 00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:51,252 and Chance to know his grandfather. 257 00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,713 So for now, salud. 258 00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:56,716 [upbeat saxophone music] 259 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:57,926 * * 260 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,097 [sighs] 261 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,855 No! 262 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,566 Whoa! 263 00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,777 Dad! 264 00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:16,945 - What happened? 265 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,780 - You shut the lights off on me, 266 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,782 and now I think my ass is broken. 267 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,451 - No, you're like your mom. 268 00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,994 You got enough cushion back there to survive 269 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:27,122 a fall from much, much higher. 270 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:30,166 - That's it. 271 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,585 I'm done being disrespected by you in my home. 272 00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,045 - Technically, it's my house. 273 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,922 My mom gave it to me, and I gave it to you. 274 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,424 - You didn't even want it. 275 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,092 You were trying to default on the mortgage 276 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:41,094 so you could throw Grandma into a senior home 277 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:43,430 that someone on Yelp called a no-kill shelter. 278 00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,143 - She wouldn't die. 279 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,729 - But when she did, I took over the mortgage. 280 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,231 I'm paying for this house, not you. 281 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,358 And why isn't the kitchen done? 282 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,193 - I told you. The fridge is on back order. 283 00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,945 - Then order a different one. 284 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,572 - It's not possible. 285 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,781 - Why not? 286 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:03,283 - They don't allow it. 287 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,493 Something about the global supply chain 288 00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:07,829 and the Illuminati or something--you know-- 289 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,542 - Just give me your credit card, 290 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:15,337 and I'll change the order. 291 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:18,798 - There is no order because I couldn't afford it. 292 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,425 I put everything on my credit cards, 293 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,886 and I'm maxed out. 294 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,804 - You said you had everything covered. 295 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:26,348 What happened to your money? 296 00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:28,266 - What happened to my money is none of your damn business. 297 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,435 - [scoffs] Let me guess. 298 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,270 You spent it all on your favorite things. 299 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,271 - Don't do that. 300 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,566 - Gambling, women, getting drunk. 301 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:37,859 That's just great, Dad. 302 00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,152 You let me down again. 303 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,654 - Let you down? Come on. I was a good dad. 304 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:43,323 I was a good provider for you and your mom. 305 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,784 - Oh, yeah. You were a really good dad. 306 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,327 How about the time that you left me 307 00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:48,870 in the fountain in front of the casino 308 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,580 and told me it was the kiddie pool? 309 00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:54,417 - That's how you learned to swim and count change. 310 00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:57,962 Anyway, what right do you have to complain? 311 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,172 You had a dad. 312 00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:00,340 My dad was out before I was even born. 313 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,133 - You can't use your crappy childhood 314 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,551 as an excuse for how you treat me. 315 00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:05,887 - I can if you're gonna act like a bitch. 316 00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:09,182 - I can't believe you just said that. 317 00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:11,226 - You're just like your mom. You know, I don't need this. 318 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,603 - Oh, I don't need it either. 319 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:14,688 So leave. - I'm leaving. 320 00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,690 Oh, if the guy from Instagram shows up, 321 00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:17,691 there's a little cartridge of-- 322 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:19,150 - Get out! 323 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:26,574 [knocking at door] 324 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,329 - What do you want? 325 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,872 - Can I stay with you, Rosie? 326 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:34,040 Ay dios mío. 327 00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,542 It's just because my left side is numb, 328 00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,377 I've been having chest pains, and you're the only person 329 00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:40,630 that I trust in the whole world to take care of me. 330 00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:43,049 - You trust me, your ex who you cheated on? 331 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:45,051 Pobre viejo estúpido. 332 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,511 What's really going on? 333 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,391 - I have no place else to go. 334 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,351 - What are you talking about? 335 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,521 - Rosie... 336 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,064 I lost my house. 337 00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:00,316 - Oh, my God, how? 338 00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,902 - Because of the pandemic. 339 00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:04,571 I lost 50% of my business. 340 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:07,699 I sold my house so the workers could feed their kids. 341 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,325 My cards are maxed out. 342 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,244 I've been sleeping in my car. 343 00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:13,413 My daughter hates me. 344 00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,415 You're not gonna kick me while I'm down, are you? 345 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:19,127 - Honey, I wouldn't do that... right now. 346 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,173 - I was ashamed to tell Mayan 'cause I don't want her 347 00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:24,424 to lose respect for me. 348 00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:28,303 - Oh, honey. Mayan's never respected you. 349 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:35,894 Ay, George, there's no shame in falling on hard times. 350 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:39,022 You worked so hard to take care of us for all those years. 351 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:42,108 There was always a roof over our heads, food on the table, 352 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,526 even if it was the same deal 353 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,653 for those hoochies you cheated on me with. 354 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,989 - Just the one that threatened to take me to Judge Joe Brown. 355 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:50,158 - [laughs] 356 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,285 The truth is, 357 00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:56,122 Mayan doesn't care about gifts and money. 358 00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,458 She just wants you to be her dad, 359 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,168 but that means that you have to be honest with her 360 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:01,670 about everything. 361 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:05,799 - Honest about everything? 362 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,926 [sighs] 363 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,221 Rosie, I don't know if I can do that. 364 00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:13,306 - Well, if you can't find a way, 365 00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:15,183 then you're never going to have a close relationship 366 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,685 with your daughter. 367 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:20,647 - You know she leaves the lights on? 368 00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:23,483 - [gasps] Oh, no. Such a waste of money. 369 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:25,068 And that green juice they always buy? 370 00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,277 Oof. 371 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,529 - What's that gonna do to the plumbing? 372 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,114 - Oh... 373 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:37,288 [computer chiming] 374 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,457 - Is my Duchess ready for pickup? 375 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,877 - Yes, she was ready yesterday, so there's a boarding fee. 376 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:45,797 - Oh, well, you people closed before my sound bath was over, 377 00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,465 so that's not my fault. 378 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,301 - Not today. 379 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,220 Pay up, Jana, or Duchess hits the floor! 380 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,764 - No! She's terrified of the floor. 381 00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:56,766 This is not right. 382 00:16:56,808 --> 00:17:00,729 - Well, there's a right way, and then there's the Lopez way. 383 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,689 Pay up. Come on. 384 00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:09,112 Now put it on the counter nice and slow. 385 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,284 - Ooh. 386 00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,286 You are so turning me on right now. 387 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,378 - Just so you know, that turned me on too. 388 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,305 - [laughs] 389 00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:37,849 - Shh. We're meditating. 390 00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:39,642 Don't mess up my zen, Mommy. 391 00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:43,146 - I'm sorry, baby. 392 00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,647 Namaste. 393 00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,524 [phone chimes] 394 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,068 Wow. 395 00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,652 My dad sent me a TikTok. 396 00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:50,487 - What? 397 00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:51,780 - Yeah. - Really? 398 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:54,783 [soft music] 399 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:58,536 * * 400 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:27,440 [upbeat dance music] 401 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,192 - [singing in Spanish] 402 00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:30,527 - Is it working? 403 00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,153 I feel like my stuff is moving back there. 404 00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:34,072 - No, we can't see it. - Where? 405 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:36,408 - Look, we can't see it because your ass is flatter 406 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,243 than an open Jarrito left out overnight. 407 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,619 Look, you gotta pump it like this. 408 00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:41,913 No, no, no. Mira, George. Pump it. Así. 409 00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,623 You gotta pump it. 410 00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:46,167 Hold on to the table and pump it. 411 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:51,881 * * 412 00:18:53,717 --> 00:18:56,678 - I can't believe he did that. 413 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,389 He swallowed his pride and was honest, 414 00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:01,933 and in front of the whole world too. 415 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,728 - Mm. Only eight views. 416 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,859 You should tell him about the beauty filter. 417 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,944 He doesn't have to be honest about everything. 418 00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:18,158 [upbeat saxophone music] 419 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,492 - You know, Mayan, 420 00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:21,870 someday this kitchen's gonna look incredible. 421 00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,705 - Will either of us be alive to see it? 422 00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:25,957 - Oh, no. 423 00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:28,168 - You know, I finally stood up to that lady at work. 424 00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:29,919 - Damn, Mayan. You Lopez wayed her? 425 00:19:29,961 --> 00:19:31,463 - Oh, yeah. 426 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,590 You know, I spent a lot of money in therapy 427 00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:36,009 trying to find healthy ways to avoid getting angry, 428 00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:38,053 but sometimes the healthiest thing to do 429 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,971 is to just scream at a bitch. 430 00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:44,768 - That's what's up. - Hello. 431 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,772 But that applies to you too. 432 00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,024 If you're gonna stay here, you're gonna have to learn 433 00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:52,692 to have some respect for me. 434 00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,277 - And what, do I have to respect Quinten, 435 00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:55,820 the friendly ghost, too? 436 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,993 So what are you saying? That I can stay here? 437 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:03,953 - Yeah, I'd like that. 438 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,081 - And I would like that too, Mayan. 439 00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:08,833 You know, I think my eight followers on TikTok 440 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,877 would consider this a major breakthrough. 441 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:14,422 - Oh, those aren't followers, Dad. 442 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,341 Those are Polish sex bots. 443 00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,470 - That's cool. I don't have a type. 444 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,224 I love you, baby. 445 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,725 - I love you, too. - Okay. 446 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,062 - Oh, and, Dad, can you turn off the lights? 447 00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:32,482 - What the hell is that? 448 00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:34,275 - It's a night light. 449 00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:35,777 Runs on batteries. 450 00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:37,821 - Orale, Mayan, way to save money! 451 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,490 You gotta buy me a house. 452 00:20:40,532 --> 00:20:41,658 Also, you're gonna need a fridge. 453 00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:43,118 Oh, and we found some mold under the floor, 454 00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:44,953 but we'll take care of it. 455 00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:46,538 Good night. Namaste. 456 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:51,501 * * 457 00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:54,129 - Grandpa, can you tell me a bedtime story? 458 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:55,547 - Oh, no. 459 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:56,798 Last time, you got all scared, 460 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,591 and you ran to your mom and the guy 461 00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:00,635 that keeps saying he's your father. 462 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:03,054 - I won't cry this time. 463 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,639 Please? - Okay. 464 00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:07,392 Did I ever tell you the one about the llorona? 465 00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:10,603 Or the man that was born with a owl body? 466 00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:17,861 - Mommy! 467 00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:21,489 - Pay attention to how easy he finds you in the dark. 468 00:21:21,531 --> 00:21:24,492 ["Low Rider"] 469 00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:27,954 * * 470 00:21:28,004 --> 00:21:32,554 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0